Stepping out into the world
She was having none of it; she was demanding answers. Rightly so. Even though they clearly knew each other, this arrangement was not comfortable for her. In the end she relented and went into the house, but if this had started at a "catch-a-girl" prank, she only relented because he sounded like he knew the game was over and there were enough witnesses. In fact, at 1am a vehicle hooted at the gate, during curfew time, I presume to pick the lady. Being a guy, some of us need that help, to be connected to the girl we cannot rise to speak to alone. That is where blind dates and "sudden" introductions come to pass. On the whole, innocent and the result of many a relationship story. But it also feels like the world is a lot more dangerous with much more selfish intents conjured up by predators and joy-riders - a lot more exceptional sexual exposures are happening to well intending folk, well below their prime and this under-current is perpetuated by exploiting the weaknesses inherent in most of us.
Thinking about my own daughter's and the multitude of young boys and girls that are being exposed too early, I thought to write my own thoughts of what I believe are the things to beware, to avoid predatory adults.
Always go to places that you can afford to pay your own bill. Never go to hotels or events where you cannot pay "your" own bill and then be left beholden to men with unscrupulous plans. I've read stories of ladies traveling to Zanzibar or Mombasa with "friends" on an invitation and left with astronomical bills after things went south. Without enough money to pay their way out of the unwarranted luxury they have walked into, and unable to bail themselves out, they are placed in a no-win situation and sometimes compromise themselves by doing unspeakable acts with the savior of the day.
Always consume what you can afford to pay. Stick to your lane... Avoid going to a restaurant or bar and indulge in all the exotic foods and drinks that you cannot name or afford and being exposed to unscrupulous hawkish men, buying your table drinks. Nothing is free, a price shall be paid. You may be the queen-bee drawing all the drinks in the club or at the party, but you'll be alone with that predator without your friends later, be sure of it. Consume what you can afford, attend what you can afford to extricate yourself from. When trouble strikes, it's always safe to be able to seperate the bill, pay your part and walk away with no obligation and your pride and nature intact.
Know your limits. Know your limits with cocktails, whiskeys, wines, beers and other liquors. Avoid figuring out your limits at some public event with strangers. God forbid that you learn your limits at a corporate event, let alone where there are predatory men. Watch what is served to you and ensure that nothing is spiked. Avoid drugs. Basically, if you couldn't do it around your guardians, don't experiment with strangers... you're probably the agenda.
Check your friends. Honestly if your friends leave you or others at a party or expose you dangerously to strangers, it is very very likely this is a habit. You probably witnessed and laughed at it when someone else was the bait. Avoid company with anyone that leaves you exposed to unknown elements at a stranger's place or at places of vulnerability. The first sign you see of such pranking or voyeurism, set boundaries, because you may be the next victim.
When you go out, always stay online. Whenever you visit any place, always keep your phone on, always ensure you have adequate battery and you have enough credit to communicate in the event of an emergency. Know some key numbers off-memory just in case. Most important, always ensure that your wear-about are known by someone with resources to rescue you... Secrets are fun, until you're in trouble.
What predictors want is for you to be in a place of vulnerability, with limited choices. Then they threaten you with your situation and rush you so that you make rash decisions. In some ways, they seek to become the savior of the situation, but like a deer facing bright lights, you the hunted. You are now trapped.
Thinking about my own daughter's and the multitude of young boys and girls that are being exposed too early, I thought to write my own thoughts of what I believe are the things to beware, to avoid predatory adults.
Always go to places that you can afford to pay your own bill. Never go to hotels or events where you cannot pay "your" own bill and then be left beholden to men with unscrupulous plans. I've read stories of ladies traveling to Zanzibar or Mombasa with "friends" on an invitation and left with astronomical bills after things went south. Without enough money to pay their way out of the unwarranted luxury they have walked into, and unable to bail themselves out, they are placed in a no-win situation and sometimes compromise themselves by doing unspeakable acts with the savior of the day.
Always consume what you can afford to pay. Stick to your lane... Avoid going to a restaurant or bar and indulge in all the exotic foods and drinks that you cannot name or afford and being exposed to unscrupulous hawkish men, buying your table drinks. Nothing is free, a price shall be paid. You may be the queen-bee drawing all the drinks in the club or at the party, but you'll be alone with that predator without your friends later, be sure of it. Consume what you can afford, attend what you can afford to extricate yourself from. When trouble strikes, it's always safe to be able to seperate the bill, pay your part and walk away with no obligation and your pride and nature intact.
Know your limits. Know your limits with cocktails, whiskeys, wines, beers and other liquors. Avoid figuring out your limits at some public event with strangers. God forbid that you learn your limits at a corporate event, let alone where there are predatory men. Watch what is served to you and ensure that nothing is spiked. Avoid drugs. Basically, if you couldn't do it around your guardians, don't experiment with strangers... you're probably the agenda.
Check your friends. Honestly if your friends leave you or others at a party or expose you dangerously to strangers, it is very very likely this is a habit. You probably witnessed and laughed at it when someone else was the bait. Avoid company with anyone that leaves you exposed to unknown elements at a stranger's place or at places of vulnerability. The first sign you see of such pranking or voyeurism, set boundaries, because you may be the next victim.
When you go out, always stay online. Whenever you visit any place, always keep your phone on, always ensure you have adequate battery and you have enough credit to communicate in the event of an emergency. Know some key numbers off-memory just in case. Most important, always ensure that your wear-about are known by someone with resources to rescue you... Secrets are fun, until you're in trouble.
What predictors want is for you to be in a place of vulnerability, with limited choices. Then they threaten you with your situation and rush you so that you make rash decisions. In some ways, they seek to become the savior of the situation, but like a deer facing bright lights, you the hunted. You are now trapped.
Avoid these situations by adopting your own simple rules of living within your means and keeping a principle of "safety first"
Be safe...
Be safe...
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